Today I woke up about 5 a.m. – out of a bad dream. Normally this would not concern me as I know they happen to all of us. But this is the third day in a row and none of them have been the same. The funny thing is how my mind works in minimizing the dream.
Monday: I had a dream about a that friend who shafted me earlier this year. It was weird, he just showed up in town one day at a place I was hanging out at. He showed up and acted as if he had done nothing wrong and needed no processing. The weird thing was there was this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I didn’t trust his being there. I know I woke up with the thought and feelings of waking from a nightmare, but cannot remember what happened to provoke those feelings. One of the funny things was when we were sitting and catching up – I saw an old mutual friend of ours walk into the room (I think we were in a bar/resturant type place) and pointed her out. He yelled for her and she ignored him. He yelled again and she turned from him. As she was leaving he tried one last time and she turned and glared at him – pointing her finger she told him that he was a ‘sick f@*!’ and not to ever talk to her again. She then looked at me and asked what I was doing – that I knew the problems he brought.
Tuesday: This nightmare wasn’t even really a nightmare as I look at it now and when I put it down it will seem all the more ridiculous. Yet I know, I woke in terrors and glad that I had pulled myself out of the dream. I was at my current workplace and we were in a meeting where they kept increasing the paperwork – not to the point of ridiculous stacks of paper sitting around in my dream, but enough that I could feel my blood pressure rising at the amount of excessive and unnecessary paperwork they were creating. I woke with those same feelings of anger and could tell that my blood pressure was a little out of whack.
Wednesday: This is the dream that I had to fight to come out of. I was in my home and I don’t remember how or when it started, but a noise called me downstairs. Since I live alone, I did not go, but instead put on my coat and shoes and headed to the back door – I remember locking the front door as I tend to do that ever since the break in and oddly it comforts me. i live with the idea that if I can’t see someone sneak into the door because I am out of it’s line of sight. It needs to be locked. I walked to the backyard and saw that the cellar door was open. Now truth be told, I don’t have a cellar door, but I did in this dream. I heard another door slam, but it wasn’t like the front door. So oddly I ran to the front door and it was still locked. I quietly let myself in cursing myself for not having carried the phone out of the house with me. When I got in the house, it was obvious someone was in the house as the basement door was open. I grabbed the phone and started dialing. The struggle came as I kept being drawn upstairs as I was dialing, but I could not dial 911. There house was pitch dark and for some reason I was scared to turn on a light, I don’t remember trying but I remember fearing anyone knowing I was home which makes no sense that I was focused on calling the police but remaining in the home. When I reached the top floor there was an attic. I remember thinking – I am no longer in my home – why am I had Grandma’s? The door to the attic was open and I started to climb. I woke up. It took me over two hours to even slightly feel drowsy again, and then it really was time to wake.
I am one of those people who believes our dreams mean something, and while I am not sure what I need to figure out, I did like the feelings that it provoked in the sense of needing to figure out how to get that on paper – which my thrillers and horror stories, I want them to evoke that kind of turmoil.