Writebrainit

October 27, 2008

LOST In SELF

Filed under: time,writing — writebrainit @ 11:41 am

I didn’t get around to posting last week because i have been Lost in SELF – I love that phrase for when I am feeling selfish. I think I learned it from a friend of mine who is in the AA program and runs groups – I don’t know if it is an AA phrase or not, but it sure says a lot in a few short words.

I am hoping to get back on track here soon. My writing has suffered, but not in the way that I can’t or I am blocked, I have just had such limited time this month that it has pulled me back from the writing. The struggle there is that I chose to take on a part time job for this month and have truly enjoyed it. Another struggle is that I tend to be a person that finds a story in anything, and I had not done so since working there. This weekend though when driving to and from I did have some twinkles of creativity though, so now I need to just get the ideas down on the paper.

Yesterday I was really attending this pity party (and yes I was the only one in attendance), but I am hoping to be able to turn it into something that works with my writing. Last night when I was thinking (okay stuck in focusing on it), I was trying to figure out, ‘how do I work this into my writing?’ I am still not sure, but at least I am moving in the ‘write’ direction.

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October 16, 2008

Moments of Self

Filed under: Uncategorized — writebrainit @ 12:28 pm
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I really was blessed to be allowed to grieve. Once I stepped out of the ‘moment of self’ that I was stuck in for most of Saturday and Sunday.

pouting/reflecting

pouting/reflecting

 

Blessed in getting to spend time with family and reflect on some of what my priorities are. It’s funny what happens when we think we are not getting our fair share. I was really focused on not getting to spend time with family in the way I wanted, sometimes we get what we ask for.

Waiting to get in

Waiting to get in

October 14, 2008

The Circle of Life

Filed under: Uncategorized — writebrainit @ 7:16 am
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This has turned out to be an interesting weekend. I took Friday off from work so I could get out to Mahoney Park on time for our writer’s retreat. I have been looking forward to this for months – jotting notes of things to work on, making sure I brought things that I had hand-written to be able to transfer to the computer and as few distractions as possible. The evening before, I received a call from an old friend who was going to be in town so I set up a lunch to meet and catch up.

I had a great time catching up with him. His life might be going through some changes, I wish him the best. I am glad that it seems to mean as much to him to remain in contact with me as it does for me to maintain that contact with him. He was another friend from work whom I enjoyed working with and developing a friendship.

I arrived to the cabins later than expected – just in time for dinner. It didn’t go as I had expected and I was a little grumpy (plus I think I was fighting a migraine). There was a lot of sharing and then some reading and critiquing – the reading/critiquing was nice, but the sharing was a little frustrating as I had so many plans to write. It was a relaxing weekend though and I woke early and stuck around the cabin. I worked on a short story I have been working on and got two chapters of one of my novels – transfered to the computer. I felt really productive. I went up to the main conference area and joined in on a critiquing session and then lunch. The afternoon was filled with more writing, watching a reading of a script and another critiquing session. I read this time – short chapter from my book – it was well received. I really appreciated this. One of the benefits of getting some of this stuff transfered from the page to the computer, is that I found a bunch of notes that help me in the direction of this story.

I actually got more done once we went back to the cabin and then joined everyone for more reading/critiquing and eating together. There was a lot of story-telling and talking, but it was okay since this was supposed to be game time anyway. I read again (which I think surprised some since it has been awhile since I have read – I need to get better about that). I stepped a little outside of the box and took a couple of my blog posts and attempted to convert them to an essay. It was again well received but told that it was too long – I did get some good direction on this though, so hopefully I will get that done soon.

Each night I received a call from my mom’s home but when I had called, she said it hadn’t been her – that it was probably my sister notifying me that the parent of several of my sibs friends had passed away. It seems to be the month. In the past 3 weeks I have attended the wakes and/or funerals of two of my friends parents and while I did not know this family enough to attend – it’s a lot of grief. I did not return the call to my mothers as it was late in the night before I noticed it and figured it was either and accident or something that could wait and this is why no message was left.

We left the retreat Sunday morning and I really did feel that I accomplished a lot. Shortly after getting home, I received a call from my mother and learned that my great uncle had passed away. My Uncle Wayne was a great man who had a strong influence in my life. He owned the farm that I worked on for a couple of summers when I was in high school and was a wonderful man. The last several years has been hard on his family as he has suffered from Alzheimer’s. I am sad, even though he had no real idea who I was the last couple of times I saw him – and wasn’t even around the last two times I visited the farm – death is hard.An hour later I was checking up on all my pets and learn that one of my turtles has passed.

It was probably a good thing that I had today off for the holiday because I have been having many ‘moments of self’ as another friend has said in the past. I’m not sure I would have been a nice person to be around. Today was a bit of healing and prayer. I received a call from my cousin and good friend and talked with him for awhile – both left that conversation thinking we need to be better about getting to gether. I miss him. Then I received an email from a friend whose lovable canine companion of 15 years passed away on Saturday as well.

If I look at Saturday, October 11th, it has such importance for me. It was my grandfather’s birthday, a cousin’s birthday, now my uncle’s passing day, and the loss of two pets. On top of this, it was National Coming Out Day. I am not even sure what to think about all of this.

To end this odd note of the sorrow. I have to admit that none of these things this weekend brought me to tears, until I received a note from another cousin and learned that she had given birth to her third child on October 10, 2008. I was brought to tears as I thought of the old thought that as one life ends another begins.

October 9, 2008

LIFE

Filed under: Uncategorized — writebrainit @ 12:49 am
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LIfe has gotten a little busy for me lately. It seems that training a new guy at work, doing my regular job and working the part time job have overtaken my schedule. The good news is that I have finally caught up with reviewing the stuff my writing peer has given to me, so I am on track there. Yea! me. But the bad news is that I haven’t taken much time to do any writing myself. I have been using my tape recorder when I am on the road to take nots, write things that are popping in my head so I can review them later.

I am excited for this weekend though – I am going on a writer’s retreat with several people from my writer’s group. I expect this weekend to be a little different than last year – last year, there was a bit of teaching and some different writing activities – this year, it is more of a focus on writing which I am excited about. I have a short story that I want to finish and then want to get some chapters written on my tree fort story. I was also thinking that it would be nice to actually get a outline for that story. However, I am often surprised with myself that the story that I have written an outline for – I haven’t taken much time to get things going on taht further than what I already have.

One of the people in my writing group recently got a two book contract – even thought I admit a little envy – I am really excited for her. When I was thinking about it, it was kinda a no brainer – I have to finish one of the novels to get them published, so I am focused (now if I could only find the time – but I will). These last two weeks have just been a little overwhelming with my schedule – next week looks to be a lot better – in fact, the next two weeks are only 4 day weeks for me, so I can’ hardly wait.

With the part-time job – it has been interesting for me. I had expected to be getting all sorts of ideas for stories and the funny thing, I am so busy that I am not really thinking of stories. I am seeing people who are interesting and from all different levels of life – but no story has popped out yet. It will, I’m not worried. I am one of the people who tends to see stories everywhere and in everyone.

I have been thinking of one of my shorts lately (submitted to the Writer’s Digest Writing Contest – and didn’t win – I want to re-work the ending.). My writing prompt for this week – pick a character that you have killed off in one of your stories – how could you bring him/her back? I was thinking about this because one of the people in my group is upset I killed off a character and keeps wanting me to bring him back – lol, I actually think I can (and might, just for her).

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